Paralysis

Work, house renovation and addition, money, kids, baseball, swim, dance, coaching cross country or baseball. These are all things I have going on in my life at the moment. Actually, these are the major things going on. We all lead busy lives. There’s nothing easy about having four kids. The older they get, it seems the harder it is to raise them. Pile everything else on, and it seems to get overwhelming.

I have many days where there is just so much to do that I put things on the back burner. Actually, I ignore them completely until it’s critical. I hate that I do that. I’ll have a list of things that need to be done a mile long and I’ll sit down and scroll on my phone. Next thing I know, an hour has past and the laundry is still sitting in a pile next to me on the bed. I get so overwhelmed that I don’t do anything. It’s a paralysis.

My running has suffered because of this. I have found that if I can’t go out for a 3-5 mile run, what’s the point. If it’s too late, there’s no point in doing anything. I’ve been completely wrong in this mindset. One mile is better than zero. I know that I can go out for a 25 minute slow run and get 2 miles in. My goal going into September is to go out and do SOMETHING. It doesn’t have to be life changing, it just has to be habit forming. Mileage is irrelevant.

I’ve still have to push myself to make a list of what has to be done the next day, week, and month. If I don’t accomplish my list for the day, it gets pushed to the next day. But it has to get done.

Accomplishing the smaller tasks move you towards your bigger goals. I’m putting a large addition on my house right now. I don’t go outside and just throw walls up without setting out my tools, gathering the right materials, and measuring out what needs to be built. Those are all the small tasks that help accomplish the big goal.

I’ve always said that small successes become great achievements. Just because something doesn’t go right one day, don’t throw your whole day away. I’ve been doing that and it’s stagnated growth in areas in my life. I overthink things and make a bigger deal of things than they really are. It’s a slight inconvenience right now, but not near the inconvenience it will be later.

No Option

Don’t give yourself options. Options create indecision. They cause trepidation. You can’t “somewhat” do a diet. You have to follow a certain plan for it to work. Moderation gets nothing accomplished. Options are what killed some of the races I’ve run before.

“Should I go Back?”

“Should I bail on this road?”

The races that I’ve had to push through and finish, I didn’t have a choice. If you put yourself into any situation thinking “I can just stop or quit,” you’ve already done it. Many times, when I give myself that option, I take it. The second that doubt starts creeping in, it’s very hard to come back from it. I can’t tell you the countless times I started a diet and went strong for weeks or months. Once I gave myself the option to go back to my old eating habits, I did. My failure gave me the justification to keep eating horribly. It’s also another reason why diets don’t work.

When I ran my first ultramarathon, I struggled. My training had not gone right. I was injured. I got to the most remote aid station of the race. I heard a race official tell another runner that they had 3 hours to make it back to the finish. it was 10 miles away. I had just come 22 miles. There was no bail out but I could not wrap my head around completing the race. There was no one to drive me back. I had to complete the 10 miles whether I finished in 3 hours or not. I texted my wife and told her about my doubts. She acted like I was crazy. Her response to me was, “You can do 10 miles in your sleep!” I finished. I didn’t have a choice.

When we give ourselves an out, we will most likely take it. I know I do. It still happens to this day. It’s something that we all struggle with. Sometimes, throwing in the towel is ok and doesn’t affect anything. Other times, those decisions follow us. Set the goal. Set a timeline. Follow it through. You’ll fail along the way, I still do, but make forward progress. Your small achievements will turn into great accomplishments.

No Growth In Comfort

There’s no growth in comfort. As I sit here thinking about my aches and pains, I think about why we put ourselves through things that hurt. I’m talking about voluntary, physical discomfort. What’s the opposite? Being sedentary brings on a different type of pain.

This type of self-inflicted discomfort and suffering helps us become better. I am guaranteed to let myself down all the time. I learn from mistakes. I learn from injuries. I learn what needs to be done and when. What happens when I don’t take the lesson learned and apply it? More shit happens.

When I set out to achieve a physical goal, I can’t focus on the pain. I cannot let myself think “I’m going to die.” I can’t let thoughts like that have real estate in my mind. That thought is just going to continue to grow. It may not stop me now but it will stop me from making progress down the road.

Pain helps us grow. It teaches us. I can’t say that I’ve never dreaded doing things to reach my goal. Don’t focus on the negative. It will always be there. We tend to let that get in the way. Instead, focus on the end result. Pain is inevitable, growth is not.

Hitting The Reset Button

February is Spud Fit challenge month for me. I’ll eat nothing but potatoes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and every time in between. WHY?! That’s what everyone is asking me. 

There are several reasons but one really hit me today. I eat food just to eat sometimes. I don’t have to always eat every time I stop at a gas station. I don’t have to run to the grocery store every time I get hungry. Granted, I was not eating horrible before this challenge. I found myself stopping to get one Larabar. Once I was in the store, I couldn’t buy just one, I’d buy two. 

At dinner, I’d find myself serving myself a large bowl of rice with veggies or tofu. After I finished that off, I’d serve myself another bowl of rice. If my kids were eating tortilla chips with their meal, I’d end up reaching in the bag and grabbing some for myself.  By the end of dinner, I had consumed more calories than I should have.

Even though I’ve lost 100 pounds, even though I eat a healthy plant based diet, and even though I run more than the average person, that does not mean that I don’t need to eat better. I need to constantly monitor my relationship with food. The detrimental habits may be gone, but those behaviors still lurk deep down inside me. I hate to see food left on my plate, especially if it is something that I absolutely love to eat. I’ve always been like that. I could be stuffed to the point that I feel sick but if there’s something on the plate that I want, I will eat it. Most of the foods that made me feel like that have been cut out of my diet, but that behavior is still there.

Ever since my weight loss journey started in 2012, my relationship with food has evolved. Food should be looked at as fuel and energy. This potato challenge isn’t for more weight loss. It’s not to prove a point. It’s to remind me of the relationship I have with food. It’s to hit the reset button on some old habits.

If you’re interested in learning more about the potato diet, please check out @spudfit on Instagram.

Glance Back

We’re all looking forward to the new year. It’s a fresh start in our minds to start something new. What I’m here to ask you to do is to look back. What goals have you set for last year?

Lose weight?

Start a new career?

Go back to school?

Start writing that novel?

How much of those goals that you set for yourself did you actually accomplish? We have this mindset where we think we’ll start something when we have time. The truth is that there is never enough time. And the time to start is now. I’m not a fan of waiting until Monday, or the first of the month, or the new year to start anything. I feel like I’m in this perpetual state of being in limbo where I have the stress of doing something while not actually doing it.

It’s time to commit. If there’s something that you truly want to accomplish, jump in. Doing the things that set us apart from others is hard. None of these things are easy. It’s easy to coast through life, day in and day out. We have become complacent in our air conditioned homes and cars. The second we get met with some resistance, it feels too difficult, we give up. We feel like it’s for others. My wife is in a Masters Program. It’s something that she wants to accomplish. I can tell you that it’s no easier for her than for anyone else. Not only has she gone through the rigorous process to get in. She’s in a very difficult program while being a full time mother working a 40 hour/week job. And She’s making really good grades. Those grades don’t mean that her classes are easy. She works her butt off for those grades.

Nothing worth doing is going to be easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. The time will pass whether you go for it or not. Make a plan. Set deadlines. Most importantly, WRITE IT DOWN. I don’t care if you show it to anyone or not. I think the less people you tell, the better. You’ll get a lot of push back. That push back comes from people that are threatened by your goals. It makes them feel like they’re not doing enough. They love the complacency of their life. They are scared of failure or being talked about by others. In the end, none of that matters. You need to do it for you. You’re not old. You’re not past your prime.

Think about your goals. What did you do last year to reach that goal? Did you make progress? Set a goal. Write it down. Break it down. Get to work.

You’re right where you need to be to start.

Grand Canyon Rim 2 Rim

When I was asked to go to the Grand Canyon to run Rim2rim2rim, I had no idea what I was getting into. I tried to Google it, and it seemed like Google didn’t even know what I was getting into. I ended up finding a few videos on YouTube. Then there were the park maps that urges people to not try to hike from rim to river. And rim to rim should never be considered. The National Parks website does a great job of scaring people with the dangers of attempting a Rim2rim. 

We decided to run the Grand Canyon on June 4, 2019. Apparently, it was just past the best time to run it. The truth is that you can run it any time of the year. The north rim closes at the end of October. It reopens in the spring. So, if you decide to run it, you’re going to have to run rim2rim2rim. There are no amenities available during the winter. 

We stayed at a hotel in Williams, AZ. We packed our stuff the night before and got to be around 9 or 9:30pm. We woke up at 1am and were out on the road by 2. It took about an hour to get to the south rim. Please note, we did not stay at the closest hotel. There are lodges inside the Grand Canyon National Park. And there are many commercial chain hotels just outside the south rim. We did not do our homework on where to stay. 

When we got to the park, we stopped at the visitor center to use the bathroom. One of our guys had to pack a few more things before we headed out. We got a ride to the South Kaibob trail head. We were out on the trail by 3:45am. This was later than we wanted to but it wasn’t too bad. It was still dark and we were all wearing layers. It was somewhat cold but within 10 minutes, we had all stopped to shed our top layers.

The first 7 miles are all downhill. The trail is wide and easy to follow. You do have to pay attention to foot placement. The sunrise in the canyon is amazing. It’s easy to get caught up in running and paying attention to the trail. But take time to stop and take in the surroundings. I don’t think anyone has a problem with stopping and enjoying the view. Take lots of pictures!

At around the 7 mile mark, you’ll hit the Colorado River. You’ll go through a small tunnel and the cross the river on a bridge. This is the lowest elevation on the whole trail. From here, the trail will steadily go up in elevation for the next 7 miles. It’s very gradual. Not bad at all. It’s mostly all runnable. There is a water spot as soon as you cross the river. Fill up! This will take you through Bright Angel Campground, the first one you’ll come across. Please note, that you do not need a permit for a rim2rim run (you would if you were planning on camping). It was still early in the morning when we came through this part. It was nice and cool down in the canyon. 

Another 5(ish) miles down the trail, you’ll come to Cottonwood Campground. This is another water spot. You’ll need to fill up again. Always fill up because you never know if there will be water at the next stop. For the past several miles, you’ve been basically following a tributary to the Colorado River. Another mile or two past the campground you cross the tributary river. This is where the serious climbing starts. There is also another water source to fill up at. This is the Pump House Ranger Station.

The next 7 miles are all uphill. And it’s a serious grade. There are several “false summits.” This will happen about 3 or 4 times. You’ll get to a point where you think you’re near the top because you don’t see any higher ground. This is where the trail will turn and go higher. There’s is one water stop that’s 1.7 miles from the top of the North Rim (Supai Tunnel). The water pipe feeding this source was broken when we came through. We were not able to get any water. Another hiker coming down from North Rim was generous enough to give my friend some of his water. We were out of water at this point and still over a mile left. That last mile was pretty rough for me. My quads felt like they were ripping off my leg.

We made it to the North Rim in just over 9 hours. It was hot but it was slightly cooler than it usually is at that time of year. I believe the temperature was around 102° F. From what I gather, the temperature in the canyon is typically over 106° F. Coming from the east coast and never having been in AZ, I was not used to the temperature. When attempting a rim2rim, the best thing to do is drink water. Drink water and keep refilling. It’s very easy to feel like you might not need as much but staying on top of your hydration is the most important thing one can do. We scheduled snack breaks every hour. That was one thing we did not want to get behind on, due to the length of time we would be out there. FYI: a helicopter rescue out of the canyon will run about $20,000. If you opt for a burro rescue, that’ll run about $500. Other than walking the entire trail, those are your only ways out. There’s no bail out point.

With all that being said, this was one of the hardest physical activities I’ve ever done in my life. It was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. Plans for the next trip to the Grand Canyon are already in the works.

Consistency Is The Goal

I’ve seen it so many times. Someone loses weight, runs a bunch of miles, starts a blog and public Facebook page. 🤔 Actually, it sounds kind of familiar.

We all want to boast about our accomplishments. We all like to take the next step. Move on to something bigger and (what we think is) better. Is it? I’m coming at this from a physical accomplishment point of view. This actually can be used in any aspect of your life.

When we set a goal in life, we have to map out the exact steps to achieve that goal. The problem is that we focus on the major goal and try to rush through the in between goals. Let me give you an example. I’ll use myself. When I started running, I ran my first 5k just three weeks after I started running. Way too early. What happened then, I set my goals on a half marathon just 3 months later. I had no idea how to run 3 miles well. What the hell was I doing training for a 13 mile race?! What happened? I injured myself the week of the race. I had to step back and reevaluate what happened. I took some time and healed up.

I spent the following 4 months running no more than 3 miles at a time, three to four days a week. You see, I spent too much time focused on the goal of half marathon. I neglected the fact that I had no running base fitness.

So often I see guys that have just lost weight, they run a couple races and then they sign up for a full marathon. Or they hear that David Goggins signed up for a 100 mile race just three days before it was supposed to happen. Let’s not forget that Goggins was a Navy Seal. He may have been big but he was no stranger to extremely strenuous physical activity. He wasn’t just coming off the couch like most of us.

I’ve been quiet lately on social media. It’s been a time of reflection for me. I’ve been evaluating my future goals and setting myself up for next year. I’ve been somewhat turned off by some people posting goals and runs that are really a cry for attention. When in reality, there’s very little work going on behind the scenes. I’m not perfect and nor do I claim to be but I’d rather be consistent in my lifestyle than to portray something that’s not entirely accurate.

I went to the Grand Canyon back in June with several close friends. We ran from the South Rim to the North Rim in just over 9 hours. That was the experience of a lifetime. When I got back I needed to set a goal. I did not want to revert back to running 3 or 4 miles here and there. The very best and most beneficial physical goal I came up with is just to be consistent. I set the goal to run 100 miles a month with an average of 25 miles per week.

Do I screw up? Yes. Do I miss my weekly targets? Yes, it does happen. But, for the most part, this is probably the most consistent I’ve ever been with my running. I keeping a base running fitness that will carry me into my goals for next year.

In every area of your life, your best bet is to be consistent. You don’t have to post it on Facebook or instagram. It would make you think about why you’re really doing it. Are you doing it for likes and praise? Or are you doing it for yourself?

I Just Can’t

Most people: “How did you lose your weight?”

Me: “I cut out all dairy”

Most people: “Oh, I can’t do that”

I was at my grandmother’s funeral last week and there were people there that I haven’t seen in well over a decade. And unfortunately, this is how most conversations went when talking someone about my weight-loss. Here’s the deal, though. There’s nothing special about me. People that knew me when I was heavy, know that my diet consisted of pizza, cheeseburgers, cheese fries, and loaded baked potatoes. And rarely did my diet ever veer from that. I didn’t eat vegetables until I was in my 20s. Even then, they’d have to be drenched in butter or some sauce. So, I have been in the spot where I thought that there would be something that I could not give up. I believed that there were things that I would never be able to do.

In 2012 I realized I was lactose intolerant. I realized how much dairy was affecting my body in a negative way. Fast forward a few years, I found that most of the human population is actually lactose intolerant. Our  bodies have just found ways to cope with ingesting milk products. When I was ready to make that change, I knew it would have an impact, I just didn’t know how it would affect me.

When I hear people say, “Oh, I can’t do that.” I hear someone selling themself short. When we say something like that, it gives us the justification to not even try. I’ve learned that we’re capable of much more. Once we have the right mindset, anything can be achievable. It doesn’t mean that we won’t struggle. It doesn’t mean that we won’t fail. We have to take that failure and make part of our success.

I can’t make anyone love running. I can’t make anyone drop dairy. I can’t make anyone go plant-based. What I want everyone to know is that you are capable. When we say “I can’t,” we’re not even giving ourselves a chance to even try. If we make small but permanent changes, they will add up to great achievements over time.

Write Your Life List

Write it down. That’s what I did.

A few months back, I started thinking about all the things that I want to accomplish in my lifetime. I also started to think about the things that I’ve already done and checked off the list. Just a few years ago, these accomplishments would’ve not even been conceivable for me. So, I made a list of everything I want to do, no matter how small or how outrageous it sounded.

Then it hit me...this is real! Before me sat this list that scared me and excited me at the same time. Putting pen to paper and writing these goals down brought this fantasy to life. My thoughts already turned to making plans to start crossing items off my list. You can call it a bucket list, I call it my Life List.

Seeing these goals made me start thinking of needs to be in place to get these things done. How much is this going to cost? What do I need to do to prepare? When will I have the time? Can I get the time off work? Can I do this with the family? Am I going to be risking my life? The answer to these questions set the process in motion. It changed the list in my head from a wish to a tangible goal.

At the beginning of this year, I challenge everyone to write out their LIfe List. Make it real. Put it on paper. Write small goals and big, crazy goals. You don’t have to share it with anyone. Include goals that can be accomplished now or goals that may take years to get to but write it down. Make the plan and commit to it. Your goals and priorities will change over time, but that’s ok. This list and commitment on your part will move you in the direction that you need to go.

Technical Failure, Actual Success

​Yesterday, I ran the Silver Rush 50. Well, sort of. I missed the fourth check point cutoff. So, I ended up running 42 miles of the 50.

As brutal as it seems to be, running those 42 miles through the mountains of Colorado is the most fun I’ve had in a long time (while running). I met many people from around the country. Some interactions were brief, others were not.

I met someone from Missouri, a school teacher. This was her first ultra marathon and her whole family had come out in support. She also failed to make the cut off. She got pulled off the course at mile 40. She found me after the race and asked if I had made it. I told her I did not. With tears in her eyes, she told me she got pulled too.

I’ve been there before. A race like this can be all consuming. Even when we’re at work or driving kids around to practice, birthday parties, and school, the race is always on our minds. It’s not always the actual race but the training. It’s the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep and one of the first things on your mind when you wake up. You keep track of stats and mileage. You worry about any pain you may feel and wonder if you’ve injured yourself. Thousands of times, you picture yourself crossing the finish line. You worry about the race lull and how bad they’ll be. You wonder how many times you’re going to tell yourself, “you can’t do this, why are you out here?” You’ll think about your nutrition. Will it rain? Will it be hot? Will it be cold?

It sounds consuming because it is. Most runners have real jobs, real families, and real life. The vast majority of us pay to do this. We lose sleep to squeeze in more training. We give up going out to eat and social time. I give up time with my wife and kids. It’s not just the runner that has all this time and energy invested. It’s our families and even our jobs.

When you spend half of a year training for one specific goal in mind, to not get the outcome you expect is devastating. I’ve been there. I’ve sat in my car sobbing on the phone to my wife because I DNFd (did not finish).

The past seven months have been different. I’ve been more consistent with my training. I haven’t been able to get the super long runs in but I’ve logged more miles than I’ve ever logged before. Sometimes up to three runs in a day. I listened to my body. If I felt fatigued, I’d take a rest day. Was it perfect? No. Would I have liked to run more? Absolutely! I did what I could with my time. I would say that 75% of my training over the past seven months has been while my kids were asleep.

This is really the first time that I’m not upset about the results. I choose to look at it from the point of view that I RAN 42 MILES! Not that I came up 8 miles short. I felt great afterwards and I had so much fun out on the course. The course is some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen. This is another stepping stone in my progress. Not only do I see myself completing a 50 miler in my future, I see myself running longer races. I see myself going back to Colorado and running these races again.

Mile 41 - I just missed the fourth and final checkpoint

It’s my choice to feel down about my results or to feel good about my achievement. I look at all the positive that came from yesterday and know that not everything is always going to turn out the way I expect. I’ve learned that failure is just a part of success.

Turquoise lake and Leadville 

Moving on...

June 2000

My aunt was one of the most important people in my life. Growing up, she was always there when we needed her. She always did so much for us. She was a friend and a mother figure to me. She was easy to approach when I needed to talk to someone but also told it like it was. My aunt passed away two weeks ago. She was 59 years old. Her name was Miriam.

Miriam always put others before herself. She always made sure we had the best. When I got married and had kids, Miriam was always there to take care of my kids whenever we needed her. She would drop whatever she was doing and pick them up from school if we were in a pinch. She was so proud of all the weight I had lost but wasn’t overly concerned about her own lifestyle.

She had many hospital visits throughout the past 4 years. She’d go in for a couple days and come out just fine. We thought this would be no different. She went into the hospital on December 23. I made it to the hospital the day after Christmas. I gave her her Christmas gift. Over the next few weeks, I made it to the hospital every two days or so. January 6 was the very last time I got to talk to her. She was in ICU and was having trouble breathing, I encouraged her to be positive and that she would get out soon. I told her I loved her and I left. I got a call that night that they had to intubate her, she passed the next day

My aunt not being on this earth has left a hole in this family. Things aren’t quite right and I’m not sure they’ll ever be. I do know one thing, though, I know she wants us to carry on. We had a celebration of her life last Saturday. I was scheduled to run the Louisiana Marathon on the next day. All week I had been unsure if I’d even be able to make it.

I managed to switch my flight so I could leave right after the funeral. Having had such a heavy heart all week long, her funeral service brought closure. After two airplane rides, I made it to Lafayette, Louisiana. Some friends were able to pick me up at the airport and we headed back to their house for some amazing plantbased food. Then it was time to retire to Jason’s Airstream for the night.

The next day was filled with a lot of emotion. The day started out at about 25 degrees. The start line was electric. There were 20+ Missing Chins running that day. The run started well. I kept a 10 minute pace for the first 10 miles. The pace slowly went up as the miles passed but it didn’t matter too much to me. I was there to have fun and I hadn’t had a training run over 13 miles in a long time. Once I hit mile 20, that’s when I slowed significantly. By mile 24 and 25, I was in a good bit of pain. The pain coupled with my aunt’s passing got to me at that point. I became very emotional for those two miles. Once I got close to the finish line, Gary (another Missing Chin) came up and ran with me for the last three quarters of a mile. He helped snap me out of that race low.

I finished the race in 5 hours and 24 minutes. While I wanted to run it faster, I’m not upset about that performance. My goal was to finish and I did. That goal was much more important because I felt like I needed to finish the race for my aunt. She was always so proud of my accomplishments and I was not about to let her down. I often hear how the death of a family member can derail our routines, whether it be diet, exercise, lifestyle, etc. I know that my aunt does not want me, or anyone else in my family, to skip a beat. She wouldn’t want us to eat our feelings away. She wouldn’t want us to lay around mourning her in a depressed state. She wants us to carry on and live our lives. I want to live my life in a way that would make her and the rest of my family proud. That’s the best way to honor the memory of our deceased loved ones.

That One Decision

We are one decision away from changing our lives. I read that Facebook comment feed about teens that were charged with murder. That comment really stuck with me. Then I thought, how it works both ways. Both positive and negative.

I thought I made the decision thousands of times, the one that was supposed to change my life for the better. Only to find myself stuffing my face with garbage food because it tastes good. “I’ll start tomorrow.” Every time I told myself I’d change my eating habits and my lifestyle, I knew deep down that nothing would change.

I was aiming too high. I was going from couch potato to trying to do an hour of straight cardio. Cardio that wasn’t sustainable. To eating in a calorie deficit so great that was unsustainable. I never really wanted to eat healthier, I just wanted to out train the horrible diet. When the diet aspect of it failed, I’d just revert back to purging. I’d feel horrible guilt for losing control of my eating habits that I felt purging was the only way to make myself feel better, even though it was throwing my body into an even more unhealthy state.

When I first started experimenting with removing dairy from my diet, I knew what I had to do. I didn’t want to do it. I tried alternatives at first. I tried taking the pills that block lactose (which worked only part of the time). I remember asking myself “what am I doing? And what do I need to do to get it right?” Deep down, I knew that I needed to cut the dairy out completely. When I made that decision, I knew I was serious. I knew it would happen.

We make decisions all day long. Some affect our lives greater than others. Sometimes we try to convince ourselves to do something that we’re not mentally ready to tackle. The decision I made initially was large enough to affect my life but small enough to be doable. I had no clue that one day I’d be running marathons and ultramarathons. That decision lead to a chain reaction of events that completely changed my life. Unlike those teens I mentioned at the beginning, listen to your  gut feeling. If there’s something in your life that needs to change, do it.

🌱 Eat plants. Keep running. Small successes turn into big achievements. 🏃🏻‍♂️

A Lifetime of Damage

​It's going to hurt. Maybe not all the time, but it's going to hurt. I had braces on as an adult. It's not something I was crazy about but it's something that I knew that I wanted to have. It was not necessary but since I had lost all this weight, my teeth were the next thing that I felt needed to be fixed. I had a gap on the top and overcrowding/overlapping on the bottom (the best of both worlds...I guess). When I first started this process, I thought, no big deal. I'll get Invisalign and wear them for a while to straighten these teeth out. After a consult with the dentist, I found that my teeth needed more than a plastic mold, they needed full on braces. When I went to the orthodontist, they said I also had to have a tooth pulled due to overcrowding.

For the first two weeks, I was in so much pain that I had doubted my decision. I should've left well enough alone but it was too late to turn back. During this whole process, I would notice a little something here or there but nothing major. For the first few months they didn't even attempt to close the gap where my tooth had been pulled. I wanted that gap closed ASAP. The thing that I didn't know Is that they had to line up all the other teeth just right before they were able to close that gap.

It took two and a half years to get them off. The process was long and arduous but well worth it.

This is a lesson we can all apply to many other aspects of our lives. Whether it's a new way of eating, working out, running, or even our career paths. We all wanted to come out of high school or college making $50k or $75k a year. But in reality, we're lucky if we come out making half of that. We need to put in the hours and effort before we can reach a certain goal. It's uncomfortable to be the one who doesn't eat like everyone else; to be the oddball when ordering at a restaurant. It's uncomfortable to be the one to say no to going out because you have to hit the gym or the track.

Just like my braces, it's all a slow process. Every time I went back to get them tightened, I felt the pain and discomfort seeing little to no visual changes. I lost the majority of my weight in the course of a year. It didn't happen overnight. For the first four months, I didn't even weigh myself. I just knew that I felt so much better than I ever had before. So often, I see people going on the crash diets for several weeks and they loose weight but it's not sustainable. If you take it slow, it may be a tedious process but it's sustainable and worth it. You may not see the results from day to day or even week to week but they will come. And when they come, they will stay. At that point your mindset has changed so much that there's no going back. I've see this true in so many aspects of my life, not just weight loss.

If we make the change for the better, it will be uncomfortable. It may straight up hurt sometimes. I think about all the times I felt pain when I had my braces tightened but saw little to no changes in appearance. That pain was an indicator that progress was being made. No one goes into the orthodontist saying that they want their teeth fixed in the next 21 days. So, why is it that we think we can go on a diet for 21 days to fix the body we've been abusing for decades?

🏃🏻Keep running. Eat more plants. Small successes become great achievements over time. 🌱 

From Close Parking Spots to Moutnain Tops

Welcome to Leadville! 

I hopped on a plane on Thursday. This was the first flight in many years for me. And it was the furthest west I've ever traveled. Destination: Denver, CO. My final destination was about two and half hours southwest of Denver to a town called Leadville.

Leadville is the highest incorporated city in the United States at an altitude of 10,152 feet above sea level. This small town has a population of just over 2,000 people year round. What was once a mining town is now a destination for outdoor enthusiasts. Runners, cyclists, hikers and campers are attracted to this town during the summer months. There is a series of running and mountain bike races ranging from a 10k to the 100 mile races.

Coming down from Mosquito Pass. Leadville is located in the valley visible in this photo. 

I woke up at 4am eastern time on Thursday and made it to the airport for my 7:30am flight to Denver. I got on the plane without a moment to spare. I arrived in Denver at 9 am local time. That's where I met up with a few others that were running that weekend also. After picking up a rental car, we headed to Whole Foods for lunch and to pick up some food that wouldn't be available in Leadville.

I have met friends online that have lost weight. This trip was organized to meet up with all these people. These people all have amazing stories and have overcome major obstacles to get where they are today. Many couldn't walk up a flight a stairs a couple years ago and here we are in Colorado about run up a mountain at high altitude. To meet these people was surreal, it's like meeting your favorite celebrities in person.

We spent all day Thursday and Friday hanging out and walking around Leadville. We ate tons of great plant based foods and had great conversations. Some conversations were very colorful, some that only people that were overweight would really understand. All this while, we all had this race on Saturday looming over our heads. I don't think anyone knew what to really expect the next day.

There were 12 to 15 of us running. Most were running the heavy-half marathon, which was 15.5 miles with 3,000'+ of elevation gain. Then there were 4 of us running the full marathon, 26.2 miles with 6,333' of elevation gain. The air was filled with excitement at the start line. After taking tons of pictures and the national anthem, the gun went off.

Our entire group at the starting line.

The run starts immediately going uphill. And keeps going uphill. After mile two and where the marathon splits from the half, that's when the mountain running started. Every time I felt like I was getting to the top, the trail would turn and go further up. This went on for the first six miles, with the exception on one downhill portion.

During this race, my feelings were all over the place. On every climb, I felt like I wouldn't finish. On the downhills, I felt really good and thought I'd finish in a decent time. This is the first race I had where those feelings shifted so much. Typically, I hit a mid-race low that may last a couple miles but I get over it and finish. This race had me guessing until I had 5 miles left.

On my way to the top, Mosquito Pass (13,185' above sea level), the winds were blowing at an excess of over 50 mph. It was blowing so hard that I actually got blown into a snow bank. The switchbacks up to Mosquito Pass (13,185' above sea level) seemed endless. When I summited, I had 4 hours left to finish the race. I was pretty exhausted at that point but I knew I wanted to cross that finish line. I made good time back through the checkpoints. My time significantly slowed when I hit a major climb with just over 6 miles left in the race. The climb was brutal and it had a lot of people demoralized and panting for air.

Crossing the finish line with my son's 'gator.  

30 minutes later, I made it to the final checkpoint. Race volunteers told me I had 5.3 miles left and two hours to finish it. That's when I got happy and knew I'd finish. I knew there was only one more uphill climb but it was nothing like what I had just done. So, I got to running at a decent pace.

I can't explain the feeling of not only crossing the finish line but crossing it with all my friends waiting there for me. This was not just a race, this was a bunch of former fat guys taking on a challenge that they never even imagined they could do. Just a few years ago, we would circle the parking lot to find the closest parking space to the grocery store. Now, we voluntarily ran up a mountain at high altitude.

None of us won any money or got the podium but we all walked away completing a challenge that seemed unfathomable just a short time ago. I gained so much from this weekend spent in Colorado. What were once considered friends are now family. What was once considered unattainable is now achievable. There really is no restriction on what one can accomplish with the right mindset. When I was out on that mountain, I told myself many times that I would never run this race again. Well, I lied, I plan on going back next year and doing it all over again (and faster)!

Finish line picture with the race founder (and the shotgun). Theres about 2,000 lbs. of weight lost in this picture.

I've Gained...Big Time!

I was sitting at my kitchen table earlier eating my rice and vegetables. The kids had finished their lunch, cleaned up, and were off playing. I decided to scroll through Facebook. Having lost a lot of weight, I'm friends with a lot of people that lost weight themselves. Someone had posted a before and after picture of himself. I commented on how he doesn't even look like the same person anymore. His response to my comment was "So glad we decided to wake up and live!"

This comment really got me thinking of what happened when I lost weight. As you may know, I never set out to lose a massive amount of weight. I just wanted to feel better. The weightloss was just a byproduct. What I never knew was that it would open so many doors that I didn't even know existed. I never knew people ran long distances - or that normal people climb Mount Everest or do triathlons! I once heard someone say "It's not what I lost, It's the life I gained." This experience has changed my whole mindset. I didn't just get my life back. I gained a life I never thought I'd have. I always thought growing old and having a suitcase full of prescriptions was the norm. 

The life I lead now is 100 times more fulfilling than the one I led as a someone knocking on the door of 300 pounds. Part of me hates that I wasted so much time just being "normal." Although I can't go back and change the past, the quality of life I have now more than makes up for it. I once heard someone say, "Why would i eat healthy? To live an extra year or two?"  What about all the years before that? I'm reducing my chances of being in a wheelchair, nursing home, of having to take 12 different medications a day, and many other things that seem to be considered normal nowadays. I don't want my family to have to take care of me because of my selfish decisions. It will come to a point where our own decisions will affect those closest to us. I don't want to be a burden to the loved ones around me. That is why I'm so passionate about this. It's not about living an extra year or two. Its about the quality of life we lead until then.

I say this all the time, If something happened to me today, I would not regret this lifestyle for a single second. People think that I may not enjoy life because I don't eat a cheeseburger every now and then. I've eaten enough cheeseburgers for an entire lifetime and I can say that I'm enjoying life so much more now than I ever did before. Our lives shouldn't revolve around our plate. Our plate should revolve our lifestyle.

🌱Keep running. Eat more plants. Small successes become great achievements. 🏃🏻

Thrive

​I was listening to a podcast earlier and someone said the word “Thrive.” Immediately the word survive popped into my head. My next thought was that many people think my way of eating is surviving but in reality, I'm thriving on this diet. Then I started thinking, how many other aspects of life can we apply this to. This is relevant to marriages, friendships, kids, family, work, and many other things.

As I scroll through my social media feeds, I see the highlight reel of everyone's life. I see countless selfies and captions such as “Work hard, play hard.” I see people living for the weekend. There are people doing the bare minimum. This post is not to put anyone down but it's meant for you to question what your goals are. I'm not talking about running a 5k or climbing a mountain. That's actually the easy part. I'm talking about pushing yourself to newer and higher expectations. So often, I see people posting gym selfies and they look just as soft as they did a year ago. If your goal is to burn off calories so you can go out and drink twelve beers later on, then be honest with yourself. It's ok to do that. Just don't post about killing it in the gym because that's not your true intention. I may post a gym selfie, but my intentions are not to get big. My goal is to incorporate weights so I can get stronger.

In that same respect, I like my job. I really enjoy what I do for a living but do I want to be doing the same exact job 10 years from now, making the same money? Absolutely not. Everyday is a step towards another goal.

As a society, we've become lazy. I spent the last three days in Atlanta, GA at cheer competition. I got to watch my 9 and 5 year old daughters compete against some of the toughest cheer teams in the nation. Yes, it was difficult. The traffic was horrible. Doing hair and makeup is a chore. And yes, I do hair and makeup. Then there’s the fact that we have to entertain our two other boys that don't want to be there. On top of that, there's the financial aspect to it that would make anyone cringe. It's a completely insane thing to want to do but the reward is well worth it. Seeing your children thrive in that environment is priceless, not just as a team but as a person.

Parents hate to be bothered. They don't want to drive a kid to practice more than once a week. They don't want games to be out of town or for them to last too long. As soon as the kids says they don't like something, they pull them out. I'm not saying to make kids do something they don't want to do, but at least give it a good try. My son went through three different sports before we found out that he loves swimming but we made sure that he gave all those other sports a good try before we pulled him out. It's no wonder why people quit things so easily. As kids we're taught that it's ok to do something for a little while with little intensity. And if it bothers you, it's ok to quit.

I'm going to use me as an example right now. I hate the water. I'm not too scared of it but I absolutely hate the thought of jumping in open water and swimming a mile. Why do I do it? Because I said I'd do it. Because I like the way I feel afterwards. I've been there and the feeling of not following through on something I said I'd do, it's a horrible feeling. It doesn't go away.

We need to get out of this rut of trying to make everything as comfortable as possible. We're letting relationships suffer. We're letting ourselves down. Most of all, we're raising the generation to wander aimlessly. Most parents have a dream of their kids going to college and landing their dream job. What happens after that? What happened to building those soft skills in our kids? - the skills that you can't write down on a resume because they're deep down inside of you – the skills that can only be seen by knowing that person and witnessing these character traits. Those skills don't come from doing the bare minimum. The don't come from a textbook or a classroom. They come from hard work, experience and forward progression.

Don't just survive, THRIVE!

Go For Ultra

​“Have you ever ran a marathon before?” I got this question a lot throughout my training for my first 50k. The answer to that question is “No.” I never ran a race longer than a half marathon up until that point. I’ve been itching to run a particular 50k race and decided to pull the trigger. Back in November, I registered for the Badwater Cape Fear 50k. This race offers two distances, a 50k and a 51.4 mile race.

​I started training immediately. I started off well, but ended up getting sick for a couple weeks in December. Once better, my long runs started going really well. Until I was in a car accident in early February. I got hit by a drunken driver and got side lined for two more weeks. This created a push for training in the last couple weeks before the race. At this point, my Iliiotibial (IT) band was giving me problems. With all this, I debated on pulling out of the race but decided to forego my long runs and focus on rehabbing my leg.

​The Badwater race is held every year on Bald Head Island, NC. The island is only accessible by ferry. I headed down on Friday, it's about a 4 hour trip from where I live. With the ferry running late, I made it just in time for packet pick up. After a mixer (to meet the other runners) and a ferry ride back to the mainland, it was time to get all my stuff ready for the race on Saturday.

​The next morning started at 4:30am. I grabbed the two drop bags I made the night before and headed out of my hotel room. I delivered one drop bag to where it needed to be and headed towards the ferry. The 6:00am ferry was packed with runners. There was still quite a bit of time when we docked, so this was the time to make sure we had everything in order before the race. All the runners that were on the ferry congregated in the small coffee shop on the island while we waited. It was there that we sat around telling stories of kids, jobs, training and other races.

​A little after sunrise, it was time to head to the start line. On went my hydration pack. And after a couple pictures at the start line, it was time. The first 10.5 miles of this race are on the streets (although there are no cars allowed) on BHI. Then there's a 1.5 mile section on a trail through the Maritime Forest. And the rest is (you guessed it) on the beach, about 20 miles.

CRAMP! 

At mile 12, my calf started cramping and didn't let up for the rest of the race. My mid race slump came between miles 18 and 22. The sand was soft, my IT Band was acting up and my leg was cramping. My pace had slowed considerably. At that moment, I swore this was my first and last ultra marathon.

I made it to the turn around at mile 22. I was really unsure of how I'd finish. I managed to take some ibuprofen for my knee, some electrolytes for my cramping and some water. After a quick bathroom break, I was on my way back down the beach. About a half mile away, I realized that I didn't eat anything at the turn around. I had some food with me, so I wasn't completely worried. It was at this point that I realized that the sand wasn't as soft as it had been before. The tide was going out! I assessed my situation. I asked myself, “what hurts?” And “am I able to run at a decent pace?”

​I got into a good groove of running and power walking. I popped my earbuds in for this last stretch of the race. My spirits were lifted and I had no doubt in my mind that I'd finish. I was able to enjoy running the beach that had previously dampened my spirits. As I was about a mile or two away from the finish line, I saw several people that I had met that weekend (they were on their second beach loop for the 51.4 mile race). I shook hands with them and they congratulated me. That's when I knew it was real. There wasn't much that could happen that could wipe that smile off my face.

Almost there! 

​After dealing with my IT Band syndrome, a calf cramp for 20 miles and sustained winds of 25 mph, I crossed the finish line with a time of 7:39:45. While this is much slower than I had anticipated, I feel like I earned that finisher medal. Badwater and AdventurCORP put on a great race. There's a reason why they're known for putting on some of the toughest races on the planet and this one was no exception. I can't wait for the next one!

Done! 

Food Culture

I went out to eat with my family on New Year's Eve. After running about thirty minutes late, my wife and I made it to the restaurant with two kids in tow. It actually worked out great because the rest of the family had just been seated as we were walking in. After saying our “Hellos” and giving hugs, we sat and ordered our drinks. Soon, thereafter, the wait staff came back to take our food orders. I was the last one asked what I’d like to order. I answered “Thank you but I’m not eating tonight.”

It was almost like the air got sucked out of the room, well, for those who heard me say it. Then, it was like a game of telephone where one person told the person next to them until everyone at the table heard. Next came the inquisition. “Why aren’t you eating?” “You need to eat!” “They have things you can eat here.”

The truth is, that there were things on the menu that I could eat. I’ve eaten there many times. The thing is, I just didn’t feel like eating what they had. I was hungry but I would've rather waited until I got home to make something that I knew I’d enjoy eating much more. I didn’t want to spend money on a plate that I wouldn’t fill me up and nourish me like what I had home.

This experience got me thinking about how much food has become a centerpiece in our lives, in our social gathering, it’s become an identity of sorts. This is not the first time I go to a restaurant and not order anything, My wife has become used to it and doesn’t question it. Why is it that we can’t have a good time without food being the centerpiece of a gathering of friends and family?

Don’t get me wrong, I eat. I eat a lot. And I like eating but it’s not a focal point of my life. There was a point in time where I absolutely enjoyed eating. It was to the point where it was going to kill me eventually. Food should provide nourishment for the body but society has turned it into a ritual, where we can’t function as social creatures without food being the focal point.

After everyone got over the fact that I wasn’t eating, it was an enjoyable visit with my family. We had great conversation while everyone ate and I sipped on my water. I don’t try to exclude myself by not partaking but I don’t think we need food to have a good time, to fellowship with the people that we care about.

I feel like our relationship with food and our relationship with people are backwards. While, I believe in eating for nutrition and nourishment, our focus has become more on eating and not the relationships we have with the people around us.

Accidentally Skinny. Purposefully Healthy.

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn

I sit here not really knowing where to start. I feel like I need to address the fact that I did not finish my last triathlon. I feel like I need to address that I have taken some time off from running and I feel like I need to address on how nutrition affects my daily life. I’ve always thought it was very important but it becomes more and more apparent to me over time.

The days leading up to my triathlon last month were not the best days. I typically take the three or four days before a race and rest as much as possible, get a good amount of sleep, hydrate well and fuel right. Before a race of that magnitude, an athlete would begin tapering about 10 to 14 days before the race. Tapering is when you start reducing your training before race day, no real long workouts. This is the time when your body gets good any recovered from the previous weeks (or months) of training. I probably only tapered for a week or so this time. My nutrition and hydration was on point up until the day before the race, which is the most critical. I tend to get very nervous before a race, typically a distance I’ve never done before. So nervous that I get sick to my stomach. This time was no exception. The nerves started getting a hold of me by Friday morning. This nervousness made made me lose my appetite. I did eat, but I couldn’t eat that much. Along with this, I did not hydrate well at all.

The nights leading up to race were not very restful either. I was getting about five hours of sleep. The night before was even less. My wife had worked that day, so I had to get the kids to grandparents’ and relatives’ houses, to where they were spending the night. I managed to leave around 9PM. And arriving to my hotel around 11:30 PM. I managed to be asleep by 1AM and was back up at 5AM. I should’ve known then that I was setting myself up for failure.

I felt good in the water. The anxiety of swimming in open water was not a factor. I swam 1.2 miles in the pool nonstop but was much different in open water. That 1.2 miles in open water seemed never ending. It took me a good fifteen to twenty minutes longer than it did in training but I was just happy to get it over with. About fifteen miles into the bike leg, I started feeling sick, like I needed to use the bathroom. I was drinking water, but not nearly enough and it was getting to the point that I felt like I couldn’t stomach anything. My water was warm at that point and the bars that I had to eat on me were more like mush in their wrappers. The miles passed slower and slower. By the the time I got to the 40 Mile mark, I had nothing left. I threw my bike down into the ditch and hunched over, heaving into the ditch. The people from the aid station came over to wait with me until help came to pick me up. I actually laid on the side of the road, somewhat unaware of where I was, in and out of consciousness. Temps were almost at 100 degrees and I was overheated.

Could I have trained more??? Definitely, but I felt like I was physically ready. This is a classic example of how rest and nutrition has a big impact on what I do. There have been so many times where I didn’t get enough sleep or didn’t eat quite right but still managed to push through a race and finish. I managed to get by in those one to two hour races. This 70.3 was unforgiving.

Just this past week, I was in the gym with my trainer when about half way through, I started feeling sick again. I went outside to get some fresh air and I look down at my arm and it’s trembling uncontrollably. I realized that, once again, I have not fueled right throughout the day. I had only taken in about 1,500 calories and it was already going on 9pm. So, I cut it short and came home to eat.

As I mentioned before, I have taken some time off from running but I think I better save it for another post. I eat the optimal diet for the things that I do. I need to take it seriously and listen to my body. If nerves get to me again, I know that I still need to eat and fuel right. I’m looking to redeem myself because I feel like I have a huge DNF (did not finish) hanging over my head. Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn. The past few weeks have really taught me a lot in way of nutrition. It goes to show that you’ll always be a student. I do know one thing, my diet has never failed me, I have failed my diet.

Accidentally skinny. Purposefully healthy.

I'm Not Sexy

I'm not sexy and neither is my story. Ever since I lost 110 pounds, I've met some of the most incredible people, most being through social media. Everyone's story is unique. Every now and then, I find myself comparing myself to these other stories.

There are so many people out there with incredible stories. People that are spreading the word about healthy eating and leading active lifestyles. I'm just a guy that lost some weight. I didn't get an ultimatum from my doctor telling me to get healthy or die. I didn't have to take a handful of pills every night. I wasn't diabetic. I was probably pre-diabetic but didn't know it.

It got to the point where my body had had enough. I knew I had to make a change. My body couldn't take all the junk I was feeding it. Once I made the change, I realized I've been sick my entire life. The things I experienced throughout the first 30 years of my life, the things that I thought were normal, I found out were not. The aches and pains, the gastrointestinal issues I'd lived with all my life were gone.

I really didn't have any reason to start losing weight, I decided to make that change. I could've just started taking medicine to ease my gastrointestinal problems. And it would've worked. And I'd probably weigh over 300 pounds now. After all, I wasn't that old. I was 27 the last time I had seen the doctor and all my numbers, other than weight, were just under the “dangerous” threshold. I thought I was healthy.

My advice to anyone looking to get healthy is do it before it gets any harder. Don't wait for a bad report from the doctor to get healthy. You don't need to be diagnosed with diabetes to straighten out. Don't add to that collection of prescription pills you need to take every night.

My story is unique. My before and after pictures may not be as dramatic as others with a weight loss story. My medical history may not be as extensive as others. But TO ME - my weight loss was drastic. FOR ME - my changes were essential and life-saving. It's given me a quality of life that I never could have imagined.

Small successes become big achievements over time.

Accidentally Skinny. Purposefully Healthy.